I have interrupted my revision to post this. I needed to give my brain a little break and this has been rolling round my head all day. I sent my amazing step-dad a text today, wishing him a happy father’s day. I didn’t send one to my father because I have no contact with him (my choice) and he doesn’t deserve it. I met him at 16 and “dumped” him 10 years later as I had decided that I wanted nothing more to do with him, wish I knew why it took me so long!
Anyway, I saw lots of posts on Facebook and Twitter today wishing single mums a happy fathers day too. I agree that single mums have it tough, especially if you were unlucky enough to be my mum, I know she would agree that I wasn’t the easiest kid, especially when I hit those dreadful teen years. To say I was vile is a genuine understatement (my words, not mum’s). Children of men who have been absent since before or just after birth really don’t know any different. I still remember how surprised I was when I found out that my best friend lived with this weird man-thing, otherwise known as a dad. I had assumed that everyone was the same as I was but then, I was only just 5. My mum agreed with me, single mums don’t think of themselves as mum and dad, they are parents but without the help or possible hindrance of another parent. I never thought of my mum that way either, she was mum, plain and simple.
I didn’t notice on mother’s day lots of posts wishing single dads a happy mothers day as they had to be mum too. Granted there aren’t as many single dads out there but they do exist, some are even given custody of their children over the mothers for a variety of reasons. I know this as my father had custody of my half brother over his ex wife.
I said this to my mum and also that I thought we should have a parents day where parents of either sex are acknowledged but mum pointed out that the card manufacturers would oppose that which is a valid point.
So if you are a dad, step dad, foster dad or any other kind of dad you can think of, happy father’s day to you and enjoy the hastily drawn pictures or other gifts made at school or nursery that you get given, you’ll miss it when your kids get older and are responsible for buying their own cards and presents for you and managing to forget or buy you something they really want!
Do we really need a special day to commemorate our parents? Surely we should show them we care every single day? I know I can’t thank my mum and step dad for everything they do for me, even if it is something as small as proof-reading my essays or listening to me whining about revision!