On Monday evening I was feeling a little low. No reason for it; I had handed in a particularly tricky and probably crap essay, it was the first day of the spring term at university and I’d had a late lunch with a friend. Great day right? Well, you’d think so but obviously my brain didn’t. As the evening wore on I’d started to feel a little down and lonely which is bizarre as nothing had changed from my normal evening routine and, living alone doesn’t mean I feel lonely but on this evening I did.
I posted a status on Facebook saying that I was feeling a little down and asked people to make me smile. This is when knowing that you have amazing friends is brilliant. Two jokes (clean ones!) were posted onto my status along with a couple of funny pictures and some cheery comments, I instantly felt better and less lonely.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I have been blessed with some great friends, some of which were a subject of a post I made about being thankful for http://wp.me/p1Hi8a-d3 and do see several people most days so finding myself feeling lonely was a shock. Add this into a month off university for the Christmas break and I sat wondering why I didn’t feel lonely then when I was alone a lot and wasn’t bothered at all.
I guess it shows that you really cannot control your brain or feelings but it also proves that any contact with others can help. For anyone who was worried about me, I am sorry, that was not my intention but it was a time when I was low and needed picking up and my friends are fantastic at that! I am feeling better now, still a little low but I can deal with that, although if you have a joke you just need to share, think of me, I love jokes especially ones that make most people groan!
These feelings I had are just one of the reasons why I think that the time to talk campaign is vital for everyone with a mental illness as talking, about anything, really does help. You don’t have to talk about my mood or how I’m feeling, in fact, there are times when I would rather not talk about it but any contact is welcomed. Unless, of course, you are just going to tell me to pull myself together, if I could, don’t you think I would have done it years ago? Ooh, that seems harsh but I am leaving it in, just as a gentle warning. I also don’t mind if you have a problem you want to talk about, it gives me something else to think about and won’t bring me down, especially if I am able to help. Being able to help someone makes me happy and makes me feel useful. I may have depression but that doesn’t mean I sit at home sobbing although the time, in fact, these days I am more likely to cry at happy or cute stuff, what a sap! lol